职场人士不能不会的11招御龙术

????我在工作中为亚太区企业高层在管理方面提供了相当数量的指导。首先，我会问他们一些问题，其中一个问题是：“你和老板的关系怎么样？”听到这个问题后，很多人都不知道应该哭还是应该笑。通常，我会得到这样一些答案：

????? 我的老板……从来都没有给过我时间，也几乎没有真正听过我的想法。

????? 嗯……我的老板只会告诉我要做什么，然后就等着出现奇迹，对失误的容忍度很低。我不是非常信任他。

????? 老板……总是对的，国王当然总是穿着衣服的嘛。谁告诉他真相，他就会开枪打死谁。干嘛要自寻烦恼？

????? 我的老板……从不把我当人看。我就是一头给他干脏活的驴子。

????? 跟老板接触的越少，我就越快乐。

????天啊。我服务的这些人都是为了让我帮他们构建更好的职业生涯，或者实现梦想什么的。因此，在很多情况下，我的第一项工作都是让他们获得“向上管理”能力。原因是，说真的，无论你们认为自己的老板有多差劲，他们也都是人，都有弱点和盲点，而且对大多数老板来说，下属都有可能跟他们建立更好的工作关系。如果不行，那我们也总是可以“用脚投票”，就像许多人做的那样。实际上，80%以上的离职人员都说“老板”是他们离去的主要原因。老板们要注意啦！

????下面是我的向上管理“11条秘诀”。上下级关系是双向的，因此请花一点儿时间来考虑一下，你们可以通过什么样的做法来影响自己和老板的关系。

????1.上级是人。没错，千真万确。他们绝对是人，而且和你们一样有长处也有弱点。他们有情感，有压力，有责任，有家庭，有顾虑，该有的都有。他们会很忙，会犯错误，并不总是能看清问题，也不会对什么都能熟练驾驭，而且他们看问题的角度确实也跟别人一样。让我们欢迎他们这些普通人吧。那么，大家就要尽量理解他们，不要轻易对他们下定论，必要的时候要原谅他们，同时尽可能地为他们提供支持。帮助上级取得成功是向上管理的最有效策略之一。首先要把老板“放在人的位置上”，把他们看成有价值的伙伴。你们不也希望老板这么对待你吗？

????2. 订立个人合同。所有关系都受到个人协议框架的制约。人们之间存在上下级关系时，要保持信任，就必须有清晰的协议和预期，而且双方都有责任履行协议。直接去找你的上司，要求预留一小时来“订立个人合同”。在这期间，双方都针对这样的上下级关系把“自己希望对方做什么和不希望对方做什么”写在一张纸上。然后双方把这张纸交换一下，就需要调整的内容进行协商，跟对方确认自己理解无误。接下来，把这份合同打印出来，把它交给你的上司，同时自己也保留一份。这份个人合同并非一成不变，随时都可以根据需要更新。这种简单的做法已经改变了许多上司和下属之间的关系。

????3. 负责任。上司和下属都有责任履行双方签订的合同（做出的承诺）。就是这样，没有例外。要明确的是，人们都认为负责任是双向的。如果在履行协议时出了问题，信任就会遭到破坏，诚信就会受到质疑。因此，在这样的环境下，各方都可以有礼貌地直接向相关人员提出自己的顾虑，这一点非常重要。如果不以负责任为前提，信任就会受到威胁，误解和矛盾就在所难免。因此，一定要对自己的承诺负责，而且在你们觉得有人没有履行承诺时要让别人知道。信誉是挣来的，老板也是这样……他们不能仅仅因为职位更高就不受约束。

????4.员工的权力。员工有权期望上级做到：

????? 相互接触时尊重对方，让对方有尊严

????? 及时提供反馈、指导和渠道

????? 明确业绩目标，在恰当的时候予以更新

????? 通过培训和指导为下属实现业绩目标提供支持

????? 工作表现好时予以表扬；需要改进时提出具体的反馈意见

????? 相信下属有能力开展工作并承担重大责任

????? 愿意倾听下属的顾虑和想法

????? 分配工作时明确时间表和工作职责

????In my work, I do a fair amount of executive coaching for senior leaders in the Asia-Pacific region. One of the first questions I like to ask is “how is your relationship with your boss?” Many people I work with aren’t sure whether to laugh or cry when they hear this question! Typically I hear things like this:

????? My boss…never has time for me and seldom really listens to my perspective.

????? Um…my boss, just tells me what to do, expects miracles and has a low tolerance for mistakes. I don’t trust him very much.

????? The boss…is always right, and the Emperor of course is fully clothed at all times. If I bring him the truth, he shoots the messenger. Why bother?

????? My boss…cares nothing for me as a person. I’m just a donkey to do his dirty work.

????? The less I interact with my boss the happier I am.

????Oh my. And these are people who have engaged my services to help build a better career, achieve their dreams and so on. So, most often, we start by developing their “Managing Up” muscles. Because, in truth, no matter how bad you think your boss is, they are all human, have their weaknesses and blind spots and it IS possible to build a better working relationship with most of them. If not, well, we can always “vote with our feet” as many people do. In fact more than 80% of people leaving organizations cite “my boss” as the main reason for leaving. Bosses…take heed!

????So here are my “11 Secrets” of Managing Up. It’s a two-way street so please take a moment to consider what YOU can do to influence your relationship with the boss.

????1. Supervisors are Human Beings. Yes, it’s true. They are very human and they have all the strengths and weaknesses that you do. They have emotions, stress, responsibilities, families, worries, concerns and so on. They get busy, make mistakes, don’t always see clearly, aren’t always skillful in everything and do always see things the way others do. Welcome to Earth! So, always treat them to your best understanding, give them the benefit of the doubt, forgive them when needed and support them in any way you can. Helping your supervisor be successful is one of the most effective strategies for Managing Up. Start by “humanizing” your boss and seeing them as a worthwhile partner. Isn’t that what you want them to do for you?

????2. Personal Contracting. All relationships are managed in a framework of personal agreements. When people are in a reporting relationship, maintaining trust is all about having clear agreements and expectations and holding each other accountable for keeping the agreements. Approach your supervisor directly and request to schedule a one-hour “personal contracting” session. Each party then writes down on paper “what they want and don’t want” from the other person in this reporting relationship. Then, exchange papers and negotiate anything that needs to be refined, check for understanding, etc. Afterwards, type up the contract, send it to your supervisor and keep a copy on file. Your personal contract is a “living document” that can be updated whenever needed. This single step has transformed many, many relationships.

????3. Being Accountable. We are all accountable to each other for keeping the agreements (promises) we make. Full stop, no exceptions. To be clear: accountability is understood as a two-way street. When there is a breakdown in keeping an agreement, trust is damaged, questions of sincerity arise. So it is very important that in such situations all parties are free to voice their concerns directly and respectfully with those involved. Without this assumption of accountability, trust is threatened and it is difficult to avoid misunderstandings and conflict. So: hold yourself accountable for your promises and let others know when you feel a promise has not been kept. Credibility is always earned, and that includes the boss…they do not get a free pass just because they are more senior.

????4. Employee’s Bill of Rights. From my supervisor I have a right to expect:

????? Respect and dignity in each interaction

????? Timely feedback, guidance, access

????? Clear performance goals, updated whenever appropriate

????? Coaching and mentoring in support of my performance goals

????? Acknowledgement of a job well done; specific feedback when improvement is needed

????? Trust in my ability to perform and take on large responsibilities

????? Willingness to listen to my concerns and perspectives

????? Clear time frames and scope of work when delegating