????亲爱的安妮：我有一个奇怪的问题，希望您能帮助我。几周前，我的团队与另外一只团队召开了一次大规模会议，我们的上司，他的顶头上司，以及一位公司高层，都出席了会议。我的上司在介绍由我负责的一个研究项目的结果时，几个关键数据出现了错误。这些数据来自报告较早的版本，我们早已对其进行了修改，于是我站起来纠正了这些错误。

????我真的很喜欢和尊重我的上司，我从没想过要令他尴尬或让他出丑。我只是下意识说了那些话。但现在，他开始排挤我，甚至都不看我一眼。我真希望爬到桌子底下，永远也别出来。现在道歉是否为时已晚？如果您是我，您会对他说些什么？——F.S.M.

????亲爱的F.S.M.：现在道歉当然不算晚。实际上，《道歉的艺术》（Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies）一书的作者劳伦?M?布鲁姆认为：“很明显，你的老板仍在生你的气，所以，应该道歉，这没得选。”

????但在道歉的时候也要谨慎。布鲁姆说道：“在办公室道歉，与在现实生活中道歉有所区别。在办公室要考虑办公室政治，在某些情况下，承认错误反而会令你丢掉饭碗。”作为一名接受过培训的律师，她补充道：“一般而言，如果你犯的错误可能引发法律诉讼，在承认错误之前，应该先咨询一下法务部门的同事。”

????为她的书做调查时，布鲁姆发现，许多人犯了错误后，赠送并不适合工作场所的“道歉”礼物，例如一位好心的上司送给助理一束鲜花，但行政部门认为“这是性别歧视，而且是太私人化的情感表示。这种错误的道歉方式可能比原先的错误更令人反感。”

????那么，你该对冷漠的上司说些什么？在布鲁姆看来，每一次有效的道歉都有六个基本特点。首先是真诚，从你的提问来看，这一点你已经具备。大多数人从一英里外就能看出虚情假意的道歉，所以“你必须对自己做过的事情真心感到后悔，并且要毫不含糊地说出来，”布鲁姆说道，“从‘对不起’开始。”

????其次，简明扼要地解释一下你认为自己做错了什么事情，你的错误就是在高层在场的情况下纠正了上司的错误。承认你直言相告的举动令他很难堪，而这件事也让你非常难受，同时转移到第三步：建议下一次面临这种情况（如果还会再出现的话）时的解决方案，并提出弥补过失的方式。

????布鲁姆说道：“如果在桌子下面小心翼翼地递给他一张纸条，让他能够纠正自己的错误，肯定会更好。你可以把它作为下一次面临同样情况时的解决方案。”

????Dear Annie:I have a weird problem that I hope you can help me with. A couple of weeks ago, my team was in a big meeting with another team, our boss, his boss, and a very senior person both managers report to. At one point, my boss was presenting the results of a research project I had worked on, and he got a couple of key figures wrong. The numbers came from an earlier version of the report that we had since revised, so I spoke up and corrected him.

????I really like and respect my boss, and the last thing I intended was to embarrass him or make him look bad. I just spoke without thinking. But now he’s freezing me out and won’t even look at me. I would like to crawl under my desk and stay there, possibly forever. Is it too late to apologize? What would you say to him if you were me? —Foot Stuck in Mouth

????Dear F.S.M.: Eek. It’s certainly not too late to say you’re sorry. In fact, at this point, says Lauren M. Bloom, author of Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies, “Since your boss is obviously still upset with you, not apologizing is not an option.”

????But be careful how you go about it. “Apologizing at the office is not the same as in real life,” Bloom says. Depending on the circumstances, “there’s office politics to think about and, in certain situations, admitting fault can get you fired.” An attorney by training, she adds that “as a rule, in any instance where you’ve made a mistake and there is even the possibility of a lawsuit over it, speak with someone in the legal department before you admit any wrongdoing.”

????While researching her book, Bloom came across people who made matters worse by giving “I’m sorry” gifts inappropriate for the workplace, like one well-meaning boss who gave his assistant a bouquet of flowers. The admin “saw that as both sexist and too personal a gesture,” Bloom observes. “The wrong kind of apology can be more offensive than the original mistake.”

????So, what should you say to your frosty boss? By Bloom’s lights, every effective mea culpa has six essential features. The first one is sincerity, which your question suggests you’ve got covered. Most people can spot a phony apology from a mile away, so “you have to genuinely regret what you did, and say it unequivocally,” says Bloom. “Start with ‘I am sorry.’”

????Second, briefly explain precisely what you believe you did wrong, in this case correcting the boss in the presence of higher-ups. Acknowledge that you embarrassed him by speaking up and you feel rotten about it and, in the next breath, move on to Step Three: Suggest a solution for the next time this situation comes along (if it ever does), and propose a way to make amends.

????“It probably would have been better to discreetly hand him a note under the table so he could correct his own mistake,” Bloom says. “You could mention that as a solution for next time.”